Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Thanks!

Monday, September 02, 2013

Fulfillment of "The Santorum Prophecy"

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Righteous Bonobian Christians

I'm not really sure what swinging is, but I praise Jesus that good, god-fearing men and their not-men are doing it on a new web site called "Christian Swingers." This couple from Salt Lake City sounds like a lot of fun.


They even have this status thingy that lets you to update others about your Jesus-based swinging lifestyle:

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Righteous Rantings of an Unheartlandishly-Hued Patriot

I paid a visit to the Thinking Housewife expecting to see charges of heresy lodged against the homosexualist-loving usurper Pope who replaced our revered Pöpenfüherer. Instead, I found an unheartlandisly-hued, paragraph-fearing patriot righteously ranting about his own inferiority:
With the black race, regarding important matters that form functioning societies, the issue cannot be reduced to terms such as “less functioning” and “less capable.”  Rather, blacks as a group are largely incapable of the markers of normal civilization and healthy societies, as exemplified by the likes of Haiti, Detroit, East St. Louis, south-side Chicago, and much of the African sub-continent (unless one deems wretched villages and slums teeming with bastardy, absentee fathers, polyandry, crime at peerlessly high levels, disease, and ignorance as functioning).  In other words, the black race does not seem to fall within a clear behavioral continuum with the rest of humanity, but inhabit its own unique area that has little overlap with those of other races.  For instance, does any other place on Earth, during peacetimes, fall to such ruination and seeming hopelessness as black-occupied lands?  One might proffer the Muslim world as an example.  Indeed, Islam has corrupted Middle Eastern peoples to staggering obscenities, but their problems are mostly religious.  The problems of blacks chiefly lie with themselves.
If only he had thrown in a few random caps followed by a series of exclamation marks, we'd have the makings for our first unheartlandishly-hued conservative superstar. Yet, I dare say that even without those required embellishments, Mr. A Reader has a bright future as a minority outreach director for the GOP and Fox News Channel's official "The Problems with Negroes Consultant."

But then again, maybe I've fallen victim to creeping liberalism by praising this patriot. Perhaps the Thinking Housewife's Donald expresses a more proper conservative response:
I doubt that the writer is actually a negro. I am in my 60′s and grew up around colored people, and I have never heard such thoughts and feelings coming from them. No not even once. That kind of deep and critical self-reflection is so very rare among blacks that I suspect hoaxcraft.
Let no one say that post-racial conservatives are afraid to have a dialog on race.

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Apologies for disappearing

I was waiting until I felt up to writing a long, clever post before writing this, but I'm just not there, so this will have to suffice for now.

I apologize for totally disappearing without explanation, You  have brought a great deal of joy into my life and I feel like I've treated you badly by not posting or communicating.

I haven't been feeling well. I am in near constant pain throughout my body and am exhausted. My doctors are trying to figure it out, but can't pinpoint the problem, yet.

My job has been demanding as well. By the time I get home, I'm too tired and in too much pain to pay the attention I feel I need to pay to writing. And after over 15 years of being the General--at least ten of which were here on this blog--it's tough to keep the old guy fresh. Too tough when I feel like this.

I'm going to take a break from posting for awhile. I don't know when or if I'll be back, but thank you all for the joy you've given me all these years. It's been wonderful.

Thanks to you who've sent emails. I apologize for not reading them all. I've just been overwhelmed.


Thursday, February 21, 2013

Apologies

Sorry about the lack of posts. My inner Frenchman is trying to assassinate me. I'll be back Monday with details and an announcement.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Obama's Gun Grabbing, UN Tax, Mexican Peoplization, and Depantsing Plot

The Conservative Majority sent us this here robocall on Friday. It struck something very deep inside of me. The guy who recorded it sounds like that drunk guy at the bar who punches anyone he believes might not be showing enough enthusiasm for the Seahawks.

But it's the message that's important: "serious conservatives who aren't afraid to fight" must impeach the FURRIN' OBAMUNIST USURPER, whose middle name is Hussein, before he:
  • "Wipes out" the Second Amendment
  • Releases the terrorist supermen from Gitmo
  • Allows Mexicans to be treated like real people
  • Makes us pay taxes to the United Nations
  • Pulls down our pants and taunts us.
OK, I added that last one, myself, but mark my words. Once he's taken our guns, he's going to have agents of the ACLU pull down our pants so he can make fun of the size of our little soldiers.

Oh, and they also reminded me that Obama probably wasn't even born here.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Traditional Conservative Values and the Catholic Church

The good conservatives and traditionalist Catholics at View from the Right are very concerned that the next Pope will be off color:. An enthusiastically pale Larry writes:
I hope the cardinals return to the tradition of selecting an Italian as pope. Otherwise this time we may be saddled with a Hispanic, an African, or—God forbid—an American.
Brandon, a man who fervently hopes Edgar Winter will become Pope Albedo I, agrees:
As is typical of the liberal media many headlines are suggesting that the next pope could be black. This is a troubling idea and I hope the cardinals electing the next pope realize it. The liberal media types are suggesting that a Latin or African pope would be good because those are the fastest growing areas for Catholics. The problem I see is the further alienation of Europeans and their descendants...